Books, Christmas, Christmas, Solstice & Hannukah, Family life, gift guide

Milkweed Montessori’s 2018 Gift Guide

Tomorrow is December. December is tomorrow!

Currently, my notes to self sound something like this:

Finding gifts for the children in your life doesn’t need to feel like one more obligation. Tune in to the child, and where they are right now, at this moment in their life. Pay attention to what they need, or don’t need. Have you already won the global lottery? Acknowledge it. Apply the buyerarchy of needs (see below). Give from a place of peace, generosity, and unattachment. Receive in the same way.

We usually give one main gift, one book, and one stocking for each of our children. It winds up being more than enough (especially with generous extended family members), but helps to avoid gift-unwrapping overwhelm. You’ll find this list is longer than that, in part because I wanted to recommend books and products that our family has experienced and enjoyed. I’m also planning to offer myself the gift of a social media break during the holidays, something that I think the whole family might enjoy.

May your December be one of peace, joy, and gratitude.

Gifts for birth to age 3:

Reflecting mobile, for the newborn in the family

Cozy, family-focused art by Katie Flindall, for the nursery or playroom (pictured)

A smart, seasonal subscription to Babybug magazine

Lola at the Library book

In the Town, All Year Round book — If you have a child in your life who likes to point at pictures in books, you owe it to them to give them this book. Jasper is 6, and he loves to pour over each page, but a beloved friend of ours (who was 18 months old when we gave it to him last Christmas) has literally worn the binding off the book with frequent page-turning.

My Heart Fills with Happiness — a book that’s a pleasure to read aloud

Ikea’s classic indoor play tunnel never gets old with the wee ones

A jar of homemade playdough

Gifts for 3-6 year olds:

The Little Book of Woodland Bird Songs

Julián Is a Mermaid book

The best quality crayons — pricier than other crayons, but the last ones you’ll ever need to buy.

Big movement toys like an indoor swing, triangle ladder or a tumbling mat

Amaryllis or paperwhite bulbs — hear me out: those boxed bulbs you find in any box store are fast-growing, with dramatic results. Kids of all ages will love to plant, tend, and observe their very own indoor bulbs, and they add such beauty to a January day. These also make great gifts for children to give to someone who will send regular updates on how the bulbs are growing, a connection Jasper and his great-grandmother have shared in winters past.

A straw broom

Micro Mini Scooter — my kids each have one of these sturdy scooters, and Sage has been riding hers since before she was 2! With their three-wheel design, they are safe, speedy, and stand upright on their own. A must-have for getting to the beach and the library.

Gifts for 6+:

Morakniv Rookie — a great first knife for use outdoors, with extra safety features. Perfect for sharpening sticks.

Rock tumbler — Jasper has been very interested on rocks, gems and minerals for some time now, and a rock tumbler is a tool that could help continue his hands-on explorations

binGO WILD animal riddle game

The beautiful and riveting adventure novel Where the Mountain Meets the Moon

Hand vacuum — something Jasper specifically asked for!

The Illustrated Harry Potter books

The Water Walker book — inspiration and encouragement for the keen and passionate second plane of development, from a modern day hero

Gifts for the adult who loved looking at this list (feel free to forward this to your Secret Santa):

“Montessori as an act of liberation” t-shirt raises funds to get Amelia to the Montessori for Social Justice conference

A donation to the Montessori school at South Bend’s Centre for the Homeless

All of the beeswax candles from Wild Luminescence

Toddler Discipline for Every Age and Stage book — a deep dive into practical and developmentally appropriate ways to connect with your toddler, even when times get tough, by Aubrey Hargis of Child of the Redwoods (and founder of the vibrant Montessori 101 Facebook community)

An unlined Moleskin notebook for notes & sketches

A supportive subscription to the in-depth anti-bias, anti-racist work Tiffany Jewell and Britt Hawthorne are doing

“Raise Them Curious” t-shirt for Mamas and Papas trying to do just that

Gift guides from years past:

A gift guide for the Montessori home (2017)

How to avoid rapidly changing holiday priorities: a gift guide (2015)

A Merry Montessori Toddler Gift List (2014)

Read more about our advent of adventure — an experience-focused holiday tradition. And a bit of evergreen holiday wisdom, from December of 2015.

Disclaimer: this list includes affiliate links in which I earn a tiny percentage of any purchases made via these links. If you do decide to gift any of these items, consider doing so through the links on this page.

0-2 months, 2-4 months, 4-6 months, 6-8 months, Motor development

She leads the way

Just about every source of parenting advice out there, from the doctor’s office to your friend’s yoga teacher to the public health unit, will recommend something called “tummy time.” If you’re a parent, you know what it is. If you’re not, go

But here’s a big ol’ secret: Sage has never been put into “tummy time.” She’s spent lots of time on her belly, but I didn’t put her into that position.

Instead, from just a few weeks old, she’s been put onto her back, with plenty of space to move freely, occasionally with a few toys to invite exploration. Her body and brain are developing, and all she needs is time and space. Natural human development will take care of the rest.

We avoided or minimized time in what I call “contraptions” — swings, car seats, Jolly Jumpers, bouncy chairs, etc. They are all used to contain and restrain a baby’s natural freedom of movement. By holding back a baby’s natural way of being, they are holding back development. Even if it is high contrast, or brightly coloured, or play sweet music. Of course, we used a car seat in a car, and I put her in a (non-automated) bouncy chair while I showered. But I worked to be mindful of the time spent using these devices.

At 11 weeks old, she rolled over onto her belly for the first time. A few weeks later, she rolled back from belly to back. Since then she’s been on the move, rolling, stretching, creeping, pulling herself along. A few weeks ago, she started to get up on all fours and rock.

On her six-month birthday, in the middle of Thanksgiving celebrations, she moved from the crawling position to sitting right up. She sat there for about thirty seconds, with family gathered around cheering her on and my jaw on the floor.

At nearly seven months, this sweet girl is (nearly) all grown up and sitting up with confidence. She gets herself into that position, and she holds herself up as long as she’s interested in sitting. No pillows, no props, no Bumbos. When she’s done sitting, she leans back, she rolls onto her side, she flips onto her belly.

It’s her body, and it’s her choice.

Those words might seem a little intense, conjuring up ideas of consent and women’s rights. But I think it’s okay for my daughter to have the idea that she is in charge of her own body, even from an early age. She leads the way.

I was introduce to ideas about baby’s natural motor development through the idea of RIE and in particular Janet Lansbury’s blog, which is excellent. I’m currently listening to her audiobook No Bad Kids: Toddler Discipline Without Shame and wow, you guys. If you have a toddler or preschooler, that book can really do wonders for the communication around your household. If you will soon have a child that age, get started now!

Here are a few of Janet Lansbury’s posts about sitting and tummy time.

Edited to add: A reader posted a comment noting that focusing on timelines might give the incorrect impression that this method leads to early development. That’s not the case. Letting your baby lead the way allows them to develop at their own pace. There is no rush, and there’s no need to slow down. If your baby seems “late,” don’t despair. I think what this is all about it is giving your baby the respect, the space and also the time he or she needs to use their body and naturally develop. Thanks for your note, Gina!

0-2 months, 2-4 months, 4-6 months, 6-12 months, Montessori philosophy

Put your baby on the floor. Like, a lot.

If I were to travel back in time to when Jasper was a wee baby, I might just give myself a seemingly crazy piece of advice. “Put your baby on the floor.”

He’s a September baby, and I have these memories of that first winter spent sitting there holding my baby. If he was awake, I was sitting there holding him, wondering what to do next. If I needed to do something that required the use of my arms, there was a stressful moment of tension as I tried to figure out “what to do” with him. I knew I didn’t want to rely on devices like the swing. But it never really occurred to me to put him on the floor unless he was having what I thought of as “floor-” or “tummy-” time. Ahh the little compartments we make of life…

With Sage, I still make sure to spend plenty of time holding, cuddling and carrying her while she’s so sweet and small. But I also give her plenty of time and space to explore and get to know her body and how it moves.

This work is best done on the floor. Here’s why:

her view is unobstructed. No crib bars, no pack and play mesh. Just a wide open view of the room and everyone in it.
she is free to move. With a lots of space to move, she does.
it doesn’t require putting baby into any position that she can’t get herself into or out of. It doesn’t give her an unnatural sense of her own capabilities. It doesn’t prop her up to sit before she can get there herself, it doesn’t dangle her into a false standing position. She is simply on her back until she rolls on to her tummy. She is reaching and stretching and eventually moving.

In the Montessori world, the environment for this kind of “floor-time” is called a movement area. A movement area might look something like this:

The key ingredient is lots of comfortable space. There will be a mat, a blanket, or something soft but supportive for baby to be on. A few yoga mats side-by-side can work. I’ve found quilts are better for movement than other types of blankets (they lie flat while being crawled and squirmed on!).

There may be a mobile suspended above a young baby to look at, or a bell, ring, rattle or grasping toy for babies who are ready to use their hands. At five months, Sage is rolling and creeping to move around, and I sometimes place an object (a skwish, or a open book with beautiful images) just out of reach for her to stretch towards.

Traditionally in the Montessori method, there is a wall mirror from the very beginning, which draws baby’s attention and allows her to watch her own body move. Our family chooses to incorporate the mirror later.

Montessori floor time and movement area

As baby begins to be able to move, there is a low shelf or basket offering a few objects to explore.

Also: if you start to worry about your babe, or feel he is not getting enough people time, or that she’s all alone on a big empty floor — hang out with your baby! Sit on the floor. Talk to your baby. Pick her up for a cuddle. Do some made-up yoga poses to stretch out that breastfeeding back. Sit with him lying between your legs. Read a novel while she rolls around. Talk some more.

It’s all about living life together, while giving your baby space and time to move freely. That’s it.

For more inspiring movement area images, check out this comprehensive post from Nduoma and this great round up post from How We Montessori.

0-2 months, DIY

Toppon-what? My essential piece of baby gear

Becoming parents for the second time meant both that we had acquired a lot of baby “stuff,” and we were acquainted with the way that stuff accumulates when a new baby shows up — with much gratitude to our friends’ baby-feverish parents — so we didn’t need much this time around.

And we’ve gained some wisdom along the way: very soon after a baby is born, it turns out the stuff really doesn’t matter.

That said, there are of course useful pieces of gear and thoughtful ways of setting up the environment. We upgraded to a double stroller that rolls better than one we bought while was in labour the last time around (live and learn!) and I spent some late-pregnancy evenings cutting and gluing Montessori mobiles. We rearranged Jasper’s bedroom to include space for a change table and baby clothing.

All of that has helped to make life easier along the way. But the number one, must have, absolute baby essential in our house is the topponcino.

I know. “Cappuccino?”

A topponcino is a small, thin mattress which is just the perfect size and shape for a baby to rest on in the first few months. It’s a great tool for gently moving an easily-startled newborn and helps to keep them warm while snuggled into someone’s arms. It’s a perfect vehicle for being carried around the house on; it allows for big siblings to have a good, safe hold while “holding” baby on their lap; and it’s a godsend during those big family gatherings when your pure little babe is being passed between heavily-scented bosoms (love you, family!). No worries about poking watches or nervous brothers-in-law. Beyond preventing your newborn returning to you smelling of No. 5, the topponcino also holds the familiar smell of mama, providing the comfort of a familiar point of reference. I actually slept with the topponcino in our bed for the last few weeks of pregnancy.

The topponicino is also a magical solution to the age-old problem of putting down a sleeping baby. If you’ve ever been trapped into holding a sleeping baby who’s suddenly wide-eyed when she’s set down, you know the struggle is real.

After a health scare soon after she was born, we spent a few days in the hospital with Sage, and the topponcino was something that we used constantly, providing a safe, comforting relatively germ-free place for her to be, which smelled of Mom and Dad.

Ultimately, the topponcino helps to ease the transition from the womb to the world, by keeping baby warm and comfortable.

A few practical notes: we have two topponcinos, one which is entirely washable (that snazzy popcorn number you see above), and one with a removable muslin sham. They need to be washed about once a week in our case, so it hasn’t really added any extra work. My mom made them both, because my sewing skills are abysmal and potentially hazardous to sewing machines, but it was a fairly straightforward job. We mainly used this pattern from Voila Montessori, and if you’re in Canada, we have really been happy with Simplifi’s bamboo muslin.

Spring 2018 edit: Here’s another link to a DIY method from Furawico (they also sell a topponcino kit).

Milkweed Montessori

learning as we go

Tag Archives: Montessori baby

Milkweed Montessori’s 2018 Gift Guide

She leads the way

Put your baby on the floor. Like, a lot.

Toppon-what? My essential piece of baby gear