3-6 Years, Casa, Montessori philosophy, Preschool

At the end of the day

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Do you ever take a peek at what’s been happening when you pick your child up from school or childcare?

I sure do. Every time. Of course, it’s partly about my own interest in seeing how the Montessori method plays out in real life, with real kids.

And I like to see a lovely prepared environment that has become imperfect in that perfectly child-led way — useful to keep in mind when our home space feels askew, too.

But it’s also about seeing the environment where my son spends some of his days, and soaking that in. Getting a sense of what the buzz has been about and how we’ll transition from school to supper.

What do you see at the end of the day?

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18-21 months, 22-24 months, 6-12 months, Montessori philosophy, Motor development, Practical Life, Under 1 year

You’re doing it wrong, keep it up!

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If, in your travels on Pinterest and Instagram, you see a beautiful photo of a tiny toddler carefully/peacefully/confidently lifting a little jug of water to pour himself a glass, here’s what you may have missed:

  • a baby experimenting with different grips on a weaning glass
  • a baby pouring water down his shirt
  • an older baby throwing a full glass of water in the general direction of his face
  • an older yet baby taking a few sips before dropping a half-full glass into his lap
  • a one year old pushing a glass off the edge of the table — repeatedly
  • a one year old who reaches for a cloth after taking a drink
  • a one year old says “uh oh” when a glass breaks and his mother sweeps it up
  • a thirteen month old grabbing the pitcher to pour for himself
  • a fourteen month old pouring a puddle of water immediately beside his glass
  • a fourteen month and one day old getting a little more water into his glass
  • a fifteen month old who uses a cloth on the little puddle of water on his placemat
  • a sixteen month old who pours a glass a water
  • a sixteen month old who an hour later completely misses the glass again
  • a seventeen month old who pours all of the water from the pitcher into and over and around the glass, long after it’s full

Maybe all of this seems a bit much, but the point is this: each of these opportunities builds on the last, as the child learns through his own real life experience how to hold a glass of water.

Through repetition, that is, through repeatedly doing something “wrong”, he learned how to meet his own goal (to get water from one vessel into another).

In the early days of incorporating Montessori into our own home though, I’d be disappointed when I introduced a new activity or material and it seemed like my little guy just couldn’t get the hang of it. My expectations were based on things I’d seen other kids do online, or read about in a book, or seen in a film (and one really simple error I occasionally made as a first time mom was not understanding the very real difference between, say, a 17 month old and a 20 month old).

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At this point in the journey, I’ve come to realize this: if you offer a child an empty glass and an appropriately sized pitcher of water for the first time ever, and they have no problem pouring a glass without spilling a drop, you’ve waited too long.

Spills, messes, challenges, frustrationit’s all part of the process, of learning, of doing hard things. Fear of failure? It’s got no place here.

A parent doesn’t need to say a thing — that wee genius knows what he’s attempting and whether it’s been successful. “The teacher should never intervene in an action when the impulse prompting it is good, neither with her approval nor with her help nor with a lesson or correction,” Maria Montessori wrote in Some Words of Advice to Teachers.

Today’s challenge: let’s offer opportunities to our kids (and to ourselves), to try something and not quite get it. To pour the water on the floor, to climb up the wrong side of the slide, to put their shoes on the wrong feet. And then let’s smile and watch them try again.

Do we follow each other on Instagram? Let’s! Click here for an Instagram video of a very wee Jasper pouring himself a drink a long while back, and hit follow while you’re there.

 

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24-28 months, Family life

Have toddler, will travel

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This morning it was reported that there would be 121,000 travelers through the local international airport today. That kind of news makes me even more grateful for the early Christmas trip we took closer to the beginning of this month: a fun and relaxing trip to visit my husband’s family on the West Coast of Canada.

It was a treat for us to sleep in (once we’d all adjusted to the new time zone!), explore the beach, nap, and catch up with family. It was also a great time for Jasper to have lots of time with both parents, to connect with his extended family, and to spread his wings a bit.

By the end of the trip, he was feeding Grandma’s cat completely independently, he was confidently carrying a step-ladder around the kitchen, he’d help make a lovely batch of blueberry pancakes, and he had happily adapted to a new washroom routine — carrying a little step-stool from the toilet to the sink for hand-washing, and back again. But it wasn’t just Grandma and Grandpa’s home environment that gave these opportunities for independence — actually getting to our West Coast destination and back, were huge learning and growing experiences for Jasper. Despite early mornings, strange rules (have you ever had to go through airport security with a toddler?) and somewhat stressed parents, Jasper loved traveling.

After our trip in August, I was once again pretty well prepared, with our backpack stocked with hands-on activities, many of which I wrote about earlier or can be found with a quick Pinterest search: stickers, books, etch-a-sketch, etc. Though we made use of many of things I’d packed, Jasper also enjoyed watching the screen on the back of the seat, opening and closing the window shade, and making friends with folks around us. This time around Jasper had his own seat, which made a lot of things simpler (including mama’s feeling of personal space and the addition of another baggage allowance). It also meant getting to operate his own seatbelt — similar to the ones the grown ups use in our car. No activity or treat or surprise I packed came close to comparing to the amount of time spent enjoying his seat belt.
The other awesome, can’t-leave-home-without-it tool in the arsenal was the suitcase. From the moment we arrived at the airport for departure, Jasper was in charge of his own kid-sized, rolling suitcase. We were including it in our carry-on baggage, and so he wheeled that little Franklin “oot-tase” all the way to the plane completely independently (something that probably couldn’t happen with a cute, ride-on Trunki suitcase). He was over the moon, and we didn’t have another bag to carry. Win-win. We saw a few other kids pulling their own suitcases, and they all had the same look of pride and determination.

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Montessori philosophy

Perfectly imperfect

It’s easy in this online universe of perfect, polished photos & instagram feeds & blog posts & pins to get hung up on the outcome.

I find myself coming across environments and activities that look appealing, imagining Jasper in the throes of concentration and executing the perfect pour/sweep/discernment/whatever, rushing to set it up and present it to him, and then finding myself disappointed and sweeping mung beans off the kitchen floor (don’t worry about it, it’s fine).

So this, early post, is a disclaimer. Some experiences are quite messy. Some are unsuccessful. Some take a lot of repetition.

I’ll try to capture those experiences, but to be honest, I reach for the camera, or turn to write, when I’m excited about something. And often, what I’m excited about, are the little successes. But that’s not how we usually live, and you probably don’t either.

So bear with me on this perfectly imperfect journey.

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