A few days ago, I asked my husband, David to have a look at Milkweed & Montessori and give some feedback. He was quite kind with his critique but he had one issue: he hasn’t shown up in these pages at all!
It wasn’t really an intentional omission, or at least not one I’d thought through much, besides wanting to protect his privacy. But he’s a big part of this story — he’s the love of my life, my partner every step on the journey, and he’s Jasper’s loving dad. We have great discussions about our parenting ideas, he asks tough questions, and he puts huge trust in me.
Here are just a few things that David brings to our son’s experience:
- walks in the backpack carrier, or as we call it, “the hike-a-ma-bob”
- trips to the local hockey games, which have inspired a big interest for Jasper. The word “goal” is heard many times a day around here.
- David is the one who goes to Jasper when he wakes up in the night
- David’s a working songwriter and musician, and he’s giving J. an amazing musical introduction — by playing music around the house, putting on great records, and letting Jasper have free access to try out real instruments
- bath-time chats
- bedtime cuddles. I nurse Jasper, then David lies down with him in his floor bed for a few minutes of quiet talking and deep breathing and finally, sleep.
It’s easy for me — type A, oldest child — to jump in and try to direct the action, and I often have to remind myself to take a deep breath and a step back. Interrupting the interactions between these two is just as damaging as interrupting Jasper when he’s focusing on his work, or barging in on a conversation David’s having with another adult. These two guys of mine, they know what they’re doing.
This online community is full of mothers and women’s voices, and I think it’s good for all of us to remember what a big part of the story our partners are. What does your partner bring to the family?